Isaac Kaplan

"Is it any wonder I've got too much time on my hands?"

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

10 Biggest Sellouts in Pop Music

I hate when an artist sells out. They've got their niche, their cult following, they're talented, and they're being ambitious. Then they decide to sell records. Sometimes selling out works, other times it backfires, and they you have some guys who sell out from day one (like Foreigner and 3 Doors Down), but here's a list of 10 artists that I wish would go back to what they do best.

10) U2
Sellout song: City of Blinding Lights
They reinvented themselves in 1991 with the incredible "Achtung Baby," and did a great job doing dance on "Pop." The album did great in Europe, but was a bust here. So they've tried putting out two more "Joshua Tree"-type albums. And when they made me pay to start going to their website, that was the last straw. After their last album got panned, I wonder if they guys will be as full of themselves.

9) Hall and Oates
Sellout song: Out of Touch
Listen to their early stuff, and they were doing some interesting things. They were on their way to becoming a white R&B duo. Instead, they put out some of the cheesiest videos of the 80's.

8) Rod Stewart
Sellout song: What a Wonderful World
This loser hasn't written a new song since Bush 41 was in office. Why do people buy his crappy cover albums? His voice isn't even that powerful anymore. I'm all for a mass boycott.

7) Jefferson Airplane/Starship
Sellout song: Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now
I never thought they were that good as a psychedelic 60's band, but they were undoubtedly lame as an over-the-hill 80's group.

6) Led Zeppelin
Sellout songs: All My Love, Fool in the Rain
Years ago, I bought Led's final album "In Through the Out Door" at a used record store. I sold it not long after. When you've got Jimmy Page, why do you need to use synths? And why does my local classic rock station play the garbage from this album?

5) Genesis
Sellout song: Invisible Touch
They were totally different under Peter Gabriel (prog-rock in the vein of Yes and Rush), and in the early Collins years, they put out great stuff like "Abacab." But then they became an adult-contemporary group. At least Collins saved his cheesiest stuff (Groovy Kind of Love, etc.) for his solo junkets, rather than embarrassing the rest of the band.

4) Eric Clapton
Sellout songs: The Way That You Use It, Change the World
The guy's been putting out so much dreck that it's hard to imagine that he was once a rock legend. Watching this guy now is about as painful as it was to watch Jordan on the Wizards. At least once in a while Clapton puts out a solid album like "From The Cradle" to remind us he's still not totally shot.

3) Crosby, Stills, and Nash
Sellout song: anything from '88 to '94
These guys went from legends to garbage. You've never heard their sellout songs; they were that bad. They should've done what fellow harmonziers Simon and Garfunkel did and just stayed apart.

2) Aerosmith
Sellout song: I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing
Let's be frank: they were better before they got sober. Listen to "Rocks." They don't belong on Lite-FM.

1) Chicago
Sellout song: Hard to Say I'm Sorry
These guys were as unique as they come: a rock band with horns? And they were so good. Sometime in the 80's, they decided to become as stale and cliche as it gets. And their niche was having a lead singer with a voice like a woman's. Depressing.


Anonymous michelle said...

WHOA. That took a lot of thinking and a lot of knowlegde. I'm impressed.
Although i LOVE "hard to say Im sorry" so don't diss it.

11:14 PM  

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