Isaac Kaplan

"Is it any wonder I've got too much time on my hands?"

Monday, July 10, 2006

10 Things Stupid Drivers Do That Piss Me Off

Sorry it's been awhile since last post. I'm tired of being all serious, so I figured I'd get personal. I have a love-hate relationship when it comes to driving. One of my favorite thrills is riding down the highway, AC on full blast in my face, and the iPod blaring. And nothing gets me more agitated (sorry for a "Mom" word there) that sitting in traffic on the West Side Highway at 12 midnight on a Saturday night. Here are ten reasons why sometimes I simply can't stand driving.

10) Taxi drivers - these mishuganas can't do anything right. They're nuts. Except for the slowpokes, that is.

9) People who don't let you change lanes - this happened to me once on the Belt. I was trying to switch lanes, and was going normal speed, but the guy next to me kept going faster. The schmuck didn't want to let me in.

8) The brainless people who just sit there when the light turns green - By the time they start moving, the "don't walk" sign is already flashing. Hey morons, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but: GREEN MEANS GO!!!!! Keep that in mind next time you're driving.

7) People who pull over next to me at a stop sign - gets me so nervous. Just wait an extra friggin' minute, and you can make your left! It doesn't save you any time! And yes, if I haven't gotten through the intersection yet, chances are it's because there's a car coming!

6) People who don't look before they merge - I hate these idiots. I nearly ran into one of these people on the Van Wyck, and also at the GWB entrance. Have a little patience!

5) People who talk on their cell while driving - They're always the ones going slow, not signaling, taking too long to go when it's green. I agree with the NY law wholeheartedly. Almost as bad as the pedestrians yapping on their cell who almost walk into your car. Space in!

4) People who run stop signs - maybe I'm just bitter because I once ran one and got a ticket for it. But when I'm going down the street and some guy finally stops halfway through the intersection, while I have to swerve to dodge him - come on! WTF?

3) Slow drivers - they're dangerous, and they're annoying. The worst is when the light's about to turn yellow, and some selfish schmuck just crawls past the light. And of course, I'm stuck behind the red. Gets me so mad.

2) People who don't signal - big pet peeve. BIG pet peeve. Dangerous and annoying. Besides, it doesn't take a genius to slam the signal bar down before you turn or change lanes.

1) People who cause traffic jams - If there's construction or an accident, I can understand. But otherwise, come on! Let's freakin' move! I don't have all day!

And traffic jams late at night on weekends? Inexcusable. No reason for it, and THAT is the ultimate pissoff.


Blogger Michelle said...

OMG, the signaling thing. Like, gee, why are they slowing down at a random corner. If you'd signal, a-hole, I'd know to go around you, instead of hold everyone up because yuo were too damned selfish lift a finger--LITERALLY!!!!

And OMG, I don't know if you ever get this, but you're at a RED LIGHT, not even a stop sign, and some a-hole pulls p alongside you to jump ahead when the light turns green. Hey, who said I drive slowly? Why do you have to cut me off?!! It's f'in dangerous.

And, yes, the people on their cell phones. I saw a guy the othre day who had his head tilted becuase he had both hands onthe wheel, and his phone between his shoulder and ear. Don't you think that distorts his view?? YEAH!!

10:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least you don't live in Dallas. For being in the 2nd biggest state in our country, NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO MERGE INTO A DAMN LANE! It doesn't mean ride along side of me until I'm forced to let you over. What it means is ease over and if you're not a brake checking a-hole then yes, I will let you over. If you're a Dbag Fast n the Furious wannabe in a car that your parents bought for them? I don't think so. It's common sense... you go, I go, You go, I go, DUH! How hard is that?

3:29 PM  

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