Isaac Kaplan

"Is it any wonder I've got too much time on my hands?"

Thursday, July 22, 2004


A friend of mine has been dating for a while, and I've decided to tell over his shittoh on looks:

Of all the girls out there, I can divide them into three categories when it comes to looks: the 10%, the 80% and another 10%.

10% are butt-ugly. Whether they've got a Barbra Streisand nose, a Jill Hennessy mole, Kimmy Gibler's face, a figure like Monique, or (eek!) all of the above, I can't say yes. I'm sure they're nice people, they have good midos, maybe even some personality, but they're a lost cause. Some people have looks that can eventually grow on you. These 10%, I'm sorry to say, just don't have it.

80% have looks that are nothing special. But you look at them and say, hey, this can grow on me. The fact is, most people out there don't automatically wow me. At first glance, they're tolerable (which is more than you can say about the 10%), but they have potential. And after a few dates, the looks start to grow on you, and you say, "hey, not bad at all!" But within the 80%, there are many different levels. Some are just a cut above the 10% and may take a really long time to grow on you. There might even come a point where you just give up and realize that it's just not going to happen. Yet there are others within the 80% that are more than worth a shot. They may not have it the first minute that you see 'em, but after an hour or two of staring, they've sure as hell got it.

Which leaves the other 10%. These people have it. No questions about it. No need to even think about it. The only problem with them is, why are there only 10% of them!?

Now, I know that many of you out there may be thinking, why is Ike quoting his loser friend? Tell the guy to get a life and think about more important factors such as middos, personality, hashkafos, etc. How shallow is this moron?

To which I respond, stop living in fantasy-land. Most people, at last check, have taavos. Most people want, or need, someone that they're physically attracted too. And there's nothing wrong with that, unless you blow it out of proportion and marry a jerk just because she's beautiful. But it almost always is a contributing factor.

I'll finish with this anecdote that I heard recently. A mother complained to her son's principal, "I have a big problem, Rabbi. My son is really into girls. He calls them all the time and everything; what should I do?" To which the Rabbi responded, "hey, it's better than him being obsessed with boys!"

All too true in the age of the pink shirt. 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

My mom often uses the same line, but you knew you liked her already.


7:52 PM  

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